It Was Just A Matter Of Time Before Someone Punched Matt Stoller
By Turk on Wednesday, May 14, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I’m not normally one to find amusement in the misfortune of others, but I found this hysterical.
You can only go around calling every single person you meet a racist for so long before one of them punches you in the face. I’m not positive that’s what happened, and other than complaining about headaches and pain, he’s been pretty tight lipped about it.
My understanding is the story begins with “I was outside a bar in New York City…”
Since no story with a happy ending starts that way, that should have been warning enough. But here’s the dialog that I assume preceded the thumping.
(camera pulls back to reveal Matt Stoller standing outside a bar. Thor, a large heavy set biker walks out the door behind him and taps Matt on the shoulder)
Thor: Did I hear you say something about me you skinny little shit?
Matt: Um, no sir.
Thor: You didn’t call me a racist?
Matt: Oh that? Well yeah, of course I did.
Thor: How do you figure I’m a racist you scrawny white puke?
Matt: Well gee, Mr. Biker, you’re drinking a light beer. Everyone knows that drinking light beer is a reflection of your negative views toward people of color. Only white supremacists drink light beer, just like only homophobes drink Zima.
Thor: You little punk, I’m drinking light beer because it’s on special. And not that it matters, but for your information, I’m half black.
Matt: You see. It’s a classic case of a self-loathing rac—-
(cut to scene of Stoller holding his eye and lying in a pool of his own urine as Thor walks back inside.)
Now I don’t have any witnesses that can confirm this is what happened, but it’s the scene that has been playing over and over in my head since I saw the picture.
Oh, and by the way, check out the number of comments on the post that say, “I used to get my ass beat by bullies in high school…” I get the sense that this is what happens to the kids of those hippies that thought teaching non-violence to kids was a good idea. We’re raising a whole generation of douchebags that won’t be able to take a beating without whining about it.
Sooner or later in life you’re going to get punched in the face – either physically or metaphorically. Take it like a man and move on.
Comments (4)
Category: Craziness, Miscellany
Comment by Matt Stoller
Made Wednesday, 14 of May , 2008 at 6:45 pm
It was actually a sucker punch that has left me spitting blood and in severe pain, and had nothing to do with politics. You stay classy.
Incidentally, the post you linked to about me calling people racists includes your apology to me for getting the byline wrong.
Comment by Turk
Made Wednesday, 14 of May , 2008 at 10:37 pm
I’ve been in a lot of fights in my life. For some reason people like to start fights with bigger guys. I guess they have something to prove. I have never, however, been hit and not seen it coming.
My point in this is that in all of those fights, I have never been sucker punched. Is it possible that you were, sure it is. Does it happen? My guess is it’s far less common than people believe.
Given your tendency to say provocative things with little regard for the outcome, I suspect there is at least a fair probability that it was provoked, but you won’t own up to it.
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