Sports is to war as pornography is to sex.

The speaker’s point was we live out our collective need for the latter is each by participating in the former in each pair. We have a tribal background that makes us warlike, so we engage in sports. I think the point is fundamentally flawed. I, like most people I know, have a healthy competitive streak, but engage in sports because it’s fun and I get exercise. It’s not because I want to act out conflict issues.

What was more interesting about the TED discussion, though, was the exploration of the different moral values shared by liberals and conservatives. The site drove to a website where you can participate in the mass moral survey. I tripped on over and took the test and here are my results compared to the larger populations of “conservatives” versus “liberals”.

My Moral Compass

What I find fascinating is how far out of sync I am with liberals and conservatives. The site doesn’t give you the option to explore your score as it relates to others with ideological interests matched to your own. I’d be curious to see if other “libertarians” had similar scores. I scored far lower on the religion/purity scale than even the liberals, but I also had far less respect for “authority” and “loyalty” than even the lefties. I’m not sure if that’s a reflection of my membership in the “leave me the hell alone” coalition.

Some of the questions about “harm” were a bit skewed by the study’s lack of distinction between harming people and harming animals. I’m a hunter. I like to put meat in my fridge. Yet the test asks whether I think “it’s morally wrong to harm a defenseless animal.”

I said I absolutely disagreed for the simple reason that shooting a deer could be described that way. Frankly, I think anyone who has used shampoo tested on animals that had their tear ducts removed or eaten a Thanksgiving turkey that has been force fed growth hormone injected grain for a year or two has done more to “harm” defenseless animals than my one bullet, one kill hunt. But that’s another discussion.

That view does, however, account for the low number on my “harm” trait. It was also impacted, apparently, by my negative response to the statement that the single greatest concern we should have in life is that nobody suffer. Suffering is part of life, and common to every animal in the animal kingdom. We’re never going to change that.

My larger question still remains. Are libertarians dramatically different from liberals and conservatives? If you’re interested in answering that question, and consider yourself libertarian, register at yourmorals.org and take the Moral Foundations Questionnaire. Once you have, leave me a comment with your political ideology and scores. I’ll compile them and report back in the future.

I finally realized what was off when I saw yet another Michael Phelps ad during the Olympic coverage.

When Mark Spitz set his record for seven Olympic golds in 1972, the Olympics were – at least as far as the United States was concerned – an amateur athletic competition. The rules at that time specifically prohibited paid athletes from competing. Being paid to appear in ads for wireless phone and credit card companies would have automatically disqualified athletes from competing in the games. It was simply unheard of.

In addition, Spitz was, as some commentators noticed, swimming in off the shelf swim trunks without a cap and with a big cheesy mustache. There were no highly regimented, chemist created nutritional programs, aerodynamically designed suits, and shaved armpits. There were just amateur swimmers who often had menial jobs to do in the midst of training.

The rest of the world began to crank out athletes in Olympic farms much the same way the Chinese now do with their gymnasts – taking small children into the program and engineering athletes from scratch. When the US finally allowed professional athletes to compete, it forever changed the Olympics for me.

I watch professional athletes like LeBron James, Kobe Bryant, Keri Walsh, Misty May. Phelps, despite the lack of a professional swimming league, falls into that same category for me because of the commercial endorsement deals that allow him to train as a full time job.

I watch them and I really miss the old Olympics. I miss the days when the athletes were people you had never heard of who lived in near poverty to train for the games because they simply loved to compete.

While Phelps’ feat is no doubt impressive, and his record likely to stand for another four decades, I feel it should be recorded with an asterisk the way home run records are. The fact is Mark Spitz record in 1972 is a record from another era. It represents a completely different approach to the Olympics and, to me, a completely different level of achievement.

So Anne and I are talking and I mention the fact that I am considering a Britney related post. After begging me to leave the poor girl alone, I explained my perspective. This post is not going to add yet another voice to the chorus beating up on Britney. Instead, I’d like to take this opportunity to address the larger issue of celebrities and their poor hiring decisions.

Celebs generally hire personal assistants, publicists, makeup artists, stylists and countless other staff to make their life easier. The one position they all need to fill is “Driver”.

If you look at most of the problems celebs have had over the last year, it all comes down to one thing – they all involved celebs trying to drive themselves. Keifer, Nicole, Lindsay, Britney, Paris, Mel, etc. etc. All of them were driving themselves and should have had someone else do the job.

Had Mel had a driver, he wouldn’t be staring down the business end of anti-semitism charges. Had Paris called a car service, she would have avoided jail time. If Lindsay had someone waiting curbside, she could go on being a giant coke whore and nobody would care.

It’s not like limos are all that hard to come by in LA. It’s not like the expense is that great given these are people who spend $2,000 on ugly pants and huge sunglasses. It’s just amazing that the one thing that could keep them out of trouble is the one accessory they don’t have.

As states line up to hold presidential primaries on the first Tuesday in February, the Feb. 3 Super Bowl could look super inviting and super expensive to presidential campaigns eager to deliver a knockout punch.

“That is a very ripe and timely target,” said Mark McKinnon, chief media strategist for President Bush in 2000 and 2004 and now an adviser to Sen. John McCain’s presidential campaign. “It would reach a huge audience at a very critical time. I think campaigns will look very closely at that.”

The downside, of course, is that the Presidential message machines will never risk being fun and creative with an ad like that. The ad would undoubtedly look more like Bear or Morning in America than When I Grow Up or the Budweiser Frogs. I’d love to see a candidate with the cojones to do a riff on the Budweiser ad. Imagine the three toads sitting and belching out “Mitt-Rom-Ney! Mitt-Rom-Ney!”

I know… I know… Never. Gonna. Happen.

The Goal – To Propose to My Girlfriend on National TV During the 2007 Superbowl in Miami

The guy wanted to raise enough money to buy an ad, and was asking for contributions, but only hit the $100k mark (versus a $2.5 million ad). So now he is hoping a corporation will help him out and he’s going to donate the dough already raised to charity. So he gets credit for this grand romantic gesture, and also gets credit for this grand philanthropic gesture.

On behalf of men everywhere that a) now feel inadequate for their own minor league proposal b) feel guilty because the most generous thing we have done lately is pre-order girl scout cookies, and c) also have to face a wife who says “why can’t you be more romantic like that guy”, I hope and pray that someone kicks this guy really hard in the junk.

Huckabee on Tuesday was tight-lipped about the fraternity membership and said he planned to answer questions after his initiation. Huckabee acknowledged joining a fraternity would be a new experience for him.

”I probably won’t move into the frat house, though,” Huckabee said.

I’m not sure that joining a frat as a 51 year old man is the best way to convince the country you are mature enough to lead the nation. Do we really want the President and Defense Secretary overseeing some bizarre Iraqi prisoner hazing ritual that involves making suspected terrorists try to drop the marshmallow squeezed between their ass cheeks into a martini glass?

Given the news today that Barack Obama is doing Monday Night Football and Huckabee is doing keg stands with the Tekes it is entirely possible this is some bizarro world run by beer company ad firms.

Going into week 10, Denver was rolling on a 7-2 record and in first place in the AFC West. Now they’re 7-5 and lagging behind KC. If they hope to make the playoffs, they really need to get their act together. A four game win streak would help, but I’m not terribly hopeful.

Cutler needs to get his head and his ass wired together quick and the team needs to stop turning over the ball. As for Plummer, he has proven time and again that he’s a world class choke artist. Let’s share his abilities with the rest of the galaxy – load him in a rocket and shoot his ass into space.

We caught most of the action on center court through the men’s final on Sunday. We had to catch our flights back out, so we missed Misty May and Kerri Walsh (the 2004 Olympic medalists) dominating the weekly guest appearance by EY (Elaine Youngs) and Rachel Wacholder.

It really is amazing to see these guys in action. I spent the better part of my early 20s playing 2-man and chasing the volleyball dream, but never had any illusion that I could compete with those guys. They play at such an amazing level.

I was able to get some great shots of both the men and women soaring over the net. When a guy’s got a 44 inch vertical leap, and his arm is swinging at 11+ feet it’s incrdible to then see him spin around and sprint to chase down a dig that popped up 25 feet away – all in a second or two. They have the height and acrobatics of the NBA and the speed and agility of the NFL receivers.

If you’ve watched the Olympics, you get a good idea of the intensity, but there is nothing like watching a tourney live. If you get a chance, I highly recommend you go.

The LA Times has a good piece on the internal debate within the Democrat party over whether or not they need to campaign on those pesky little issues that voters care about. The argument breaks down into two camps. One camp believes they need to give people something to vote for, a contrast with the GOP. The other camp says:

“If you start to [discuss] big government programs ‚Ķ you open yourself up to criticism in all directions, and there’s no reason for Democrats to do that now,” said one senior Democratic Senate aide, who asked not to be identified when discussing internal party deliberations.

So that tells you everything you need to know. The Democrat approach is more government, more regulation, and more taxes. Yet they don’t like the GOP to point that out. They know that doesn’t sell well because people don’t have a fondness for more government incursion into their lives. Small wonder that they think the GOP would poke holes in that and portray it as a bureaucratic solution.

The second article, from WaPo, details the trials and tribulations of the wingman system. It’s really kind of an odd article to run. I don’t think it would fly in any other city. Most people around college age who are clubbing every night are unlikely to read the paper. In DC, however, you’re dealing with a different crowd, so there is a good possibility that some of the target demographic is actually consuming this ‘news’.

Finally, back to the LA Times, it appears there are a great many people who need their souls saved and a fair number of them live in Hawaii and hang out at the beach. That’s where Den Sabate and his flock of surfers for Christ minister to those in need who are hanging out at the beach.

Honestly, if I were lost and looking for meaning, I’d probably be at the beach too. I could live at the beach. There is something very cathartic about by the water, being bit by sand fleas, and staring at the waves rolling in. It salves the wounds of the soul. But the last thing I would be looking for is some guy to come and chat me up about the Bible.