When I clicked through, though, I was disappointed. The article, in fact, has nothing to do with me – not even casually. Instead, it focuses on right wing nuts that donated to the Pro-8 movement in California.

I have long known that there is at least one Michael Turk in CA. He’s a physical therapist with a shitty website. I’m not sure if he’s the one that appears on this site. There are apparently four listings for Michael Turk in Cali, and only one of them seems to be the nut in question.

For those who might stumble upon that list, and think it’s me, let me again state for the record that I think my party is completely backwards on the gay marriage question. We’ve staked out territory in a really bad place, and need to pack up and move the tent.

I have not now, nor will I ever, contribute to a cause that wants to allow the government to decide who can marry. As a matter of fact, I would be more than happy to have the government get out of all marriages – gay straight or otherwise.

So as the title says, “Just to be clear, I’m not the right wing nut in question.” Thanks for listening.

On another note, if you’re the physical therapist version of Michael Turk that is mentioned above: Dude, I’ll redo your shitty website for free just so people who accidentally confuse us don’t think I did that. Contact me through the link to the right to discuss.

I had previously posted on Matt Stoller’s late spring run in with the business end of a fist, and didn’t have the story quite right. My earlier post was based on a report that Matt had an argument with someone that turned violent. While I still stand by the person who gave me the story, it seems there was a little more to it than meets the eye.

Matt has always claimed that the guy sucker punched him. When he made that claim here, I pointed out that I have been in a lot of fights, have never been hit or thrown a punch without knowing exactly why that happened, and was pretty sure Matt knew why he got hit.

Well it turns out that Matt did get hit out of the blue, but the story of why was still untold – but I was right, Matt knows why.

The story was the ex-boyfriend of Matt’s then girlfriend saw the two of them together, and punched Matt in the face. That appears to be true.

Sources, however, tell me there was a bit more going on. It seems Matt was banging the assailant’s girlfriend while she and he were engaged to be married. Mr. Fisticuffs was apparently a little upset that trust fund baby was nailing his fiance. When given the opportunity to exact a little payback on Stoller, he took it.

As I said at the time of the original post, “I suspect there is at least a fair probability that it was provoked.” Turns out I was right.

On a related note, conversation also turned to a psychoanalysis of the type of girl that would date Matt to begin with. There was heated debate over whether she must have serious daddy issues or simply massively low self-esteem.

Consensus was reached on one point, however. In trying to describe the awkward thought of Matt and his paramour being in union, everyone agreed it probably went something like this:

(As young lass is trying to pleasure Matt, she hears) No. Nobody does it that way. Anyone who does it like that must be stupid and not worth my time… It feels awkward… Like knowing that John McCain will die of cancer in office… By the way, did I mention that Republicans are all racist? They are…

One note of caution, Matt. Watch out for those teeth when your girl wakes up to your bullshit.