Archive for the 'Programming' category

More on Lost and Improbability

Feb 19 2009 Published by under Pop Culture, Programming, Television

If you haven’t yet seen the episode of Lost that just aired, you may want to stop reading right now, and come back later. Go ahead… This post will still be here when you’re done…

For the rest of you, you should digest my post from earlier today about Lost and the Infinite Improbability drive if you haven’t. I’m now more convinced than ever that improbability has a lot to do with the show. This post will expand on that earlier thought.

If you believe that the island could be a place where thoughts become reality and the improbable becomes certainty, this episode had a lot to offer.

As an example, Ms. Hawking talks about the Lighthouse station as a tool to determine “the probability” of where the island will be. So probability plays a significant role in determining the location of the island.

During the flight, Jack talks with Kate about the improbaility of Hurley and Sayid being on the same plane by coincidence.

What are the odds that Sayid would be cuffed to a law enforcement officer – the same way Kate was when the plane first crashed?

Who told Hurley to take the guitar on the plane (as Charlie did when they first crashed)?

How improbable was it that Jack would go visit his grandfather and find the pair of shoes belonging to his dad?

Finally, there’s the note. As Jack said, he kept trying to get rid of it, yet it kept returning – highly improbable to be sure. What was absolutely certain to happen, however, was Jack’s reaction to the note.

Locke knew that Jack, reading a note that said, “I wish you had believed me” would immediately think to himself “I wish I had too.”

Under the hybrid zero-point/improbability theory, that wish, in proximity to the island, would immediately be granted – though again, not in the way they expected.

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Lost And The Infinite Improbability Drive

Feb 18 2009 Published by under Craziness, Programming, Television

Anyone who knows me will eventually get the question, “Do you watch Lost?” Sadly it has become my barometer for coolness. If you are still watching, you clearly have a penchant for the strange. That is, you are cool.

I, like others still tuned in week after week, are searching disparately for something to make sense of the show, and I have finally found a theory (or possibly a pair of complementary theories) that make sense of the show.

Oddly, the theory starts with my former barometer of cool – whether you have read Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy (which despite the term trilogy now runs to five novels now with a sixth reportedly due later this year.)

The Hitchhiker’s Guide featured a spaceship called the Heart of Gold. The Heart of Gold operated on the Infinite Improbability Drive. The second book in the series, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, describes it this way:

The Heart of Gold’s Improbability Drive made it the most powerful and unpredictable ship in existence. There was nothing it couldn’t do, provided you knew exactly how improbable it was that the thing you wanted it to do would ever happen.

When the improbability drive is operating, the spaceship passes through space based on the odds against something happening. As two of the books characters are drifting unprotected through open space, at the last moment before they die, the spaceship Heart of Gold picks them up. The odds against them being saved and the improbability field around the ship pass the same point of improbability and the two are rescued.

So what does this have to do with Lost? Well, the idea of the island as some sort of improbability field occurred to me as I was reading Doc Jensen’s theory of Lost and zero point energy.

There’s a whole bunch of Men of Faith ‚Äî fringe thinkers, mostly ‚Äî who believe that zero point energy is like magic. It can be mentally directed to make stuff happen (a.k.a. mind over matter), or even grant a kind of omniscience that could allow a person to experience past, present, and future all at once…

Remember the scene in this season’s second episode in which Neil (a.k.a. Frogurt) died? Now, I am convinced that this scene is actually a coded message pointing toward zero point theory. The scene begins with Miles Straume hauling in a dead boar. Then, Neil starts yelling at Sawyer for calling him Frogurt, emphatically reminding us that his name is Neil. Now, earlier in the episode, Neil carried on about the utter pointlessness of their survival struggle. Why work so hard to build a new camp or start a fire if the time flashes will basically take it all away? His cynical consternation reaches a crescendo in his death scene, when Neil rants about their inability to produce simple, conventional energy (”We have no fire!”) before getting killed by a flaming arrow of irony.

I actually saw that differently. I don’t see that as a flaming arrow of irony, I see it as a flaming arrow of improbability. As Neil is ranting about the absence of fire, the combination of zero point energy and improbability come together to provide fire, but not in the way Neil would like.

For other examples, you don’t need to look very far. In last week’s episode, Locke and the crew arrive at the Orchid station. Juliette says, ‘What are the odds this thing would be here at this time?’ A time shift immediately erases the station.

In season one, Walt is reading a comic book featuring attacking polar bears, and the crew walking to the radio tower the next day is attacked by a rampaging polar bear.

How about the odds the heroine addicted Charlie would stumble upon a heroine laden plane?

And don’t even get me started on the long odds against winning the lottery and Hurley’s connection to the numbers.

Could zero point energy and improbability create a field where whatever you thought, no matter how improbable, could blink into existence?

The theory isn’t without precedence in science fiction.

In his 1936 story Evolution, John Campbell described the Probability Time Wave:

“Their PTW tube caught and displayed every possibility that was ever to exist. And somewhere in that vast sweep of probability, every possible thing existed. Somewhere, the wildest dream of the wildest optimist was, and became fact.”

So what if the island is essentially a focal point for energy and improbability? It would certainly explain a lot of the oddities surrounding the island.

Jack’s unresolved feelings for dad? Bing! Christian Shepherd starts walking around the island. Michael wants to get his boy off the island? Done! He just needs to screw his friends first. The island is providing everything people want, but doing it with strings. You want fire? Ok! But it’s going to kill you.

Now this theory may cover the “funtional” aspects of the island, but it does not even begin to address questions about the storyline of Lost. However, I expect improbability to play an important part in the answer.

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The New TV Season: My Bets For The Dead Pool

Oct 01 2007 Published by under Programming, Television

Well, it’s that time again. Time for TV execs, with only one week of ratings are already eyeing shows for mid-October executions. The good folks over at Brilliant But Cancelled have not yet started their “Death Watch“, but it should be firing up any moment now (unless they fund a better way to make a living – perhaps whoring themselves out for candy bars and spare change).

I don’t have anywhere near the patience to closely follow every new show from week to week and report on their current chances of a DNR order. I have, however, watched a pant-load of television – mostly on DVR – this week and have a few early favorites (which will likely get cancelled) and a few shows I think will die quickly (that most likely will live on forever).

So, in no particular order, here are my guesses as to what gets cancelled, and what shows will make TV history.

Chuck – Monday, 8/7, NBC – The pilot was pretty good, if a little slow. The premise is weak (watching a web video embedded with top secret government information will dump those secrets straight to your brain), for no other reason that encoding for web video is so bad you’d end up brain fried or (more likely) the video would be so large there’s no way it could be sent, downloaded, or viewed in the time it happens in the show. Perhaps if they had the new wideband cable modem.

The secret agent that protects Chuck is hot, but that’s about all this show has working for it. I’m hoping the pace picks up a bit for the second episode tonight, but I don’t have faith.

My guess: Chuck gets stale pretty quickly. Viewer numbers will decline accordingly. My guess is this one’s gone by the new year.

Reaper – Tuesdays. 9/8, CW – For those who don’t spend a lot of time watching the CW (ok, that’s most of you), and for those who didn’t even know there was a fifth broadcast network, you really should give Reaper a chance. The pilot was directed by Kevin Smith of Clerks fame, and was really quite good. It suffered from some of the slowness of Chuck, but not near the level. I attribute the slowness to the setup for the show (which involves a premise even flimsier than Chuck’s, but it’s supposed to be.).

On the morning of his 21st birthday, Sam discovers that his parents sold his soul to the devil before he was born. On the big 2-1, he is forced to become a bounty hunter for the horned one (played by Ray Wise, best known as Dr. Alec Holland from Swamp Thing… ok, maybe not best known, but I loved that movie). Hell is overcrowded and the evil doers are escaping. Sam’s job is to capture them and drop them at the DMV (hell on Earth).

I wasn’t terribly happy with the casting of the man in red, but what are you going to do. Sam comes across the way Ted Mosby from How I Met Your Mother would adapt to being Satan’s henchman. It’s really quite amusing. His best friend Sock (played by Tyler Labine) comes across like a guy trying hard to be Jack Black. My wife found it annoying, but I liked him.

My guess: I’m hoping for good things from Reaper. I suspect they’ll keep it on simply because the CW has no viewers anyway, so why not be daring.

Dirty Sexy Money – Wednesdays, 10/9, ABC – Peter Krause (Six Feet Under, Sports Night) returns to TV as Nick George, the lawyer for a mega-wealthy family (think the Hiltons, but with guys) who have more money than brains. Nick’s dad had been the family lawyer until his plane crashed. Nick, never a fan of surrendering dad time to the Darlings, has been pursuing a life as a legal advocate for the underserved.

Unlike Chuck and Reaper, the premise on this one seems perfectly plausible. Somewhere in America you know there is a Nick George – called at all hours of the night to fix the legal messes of the society set. Hell, Britney’s just quit for nuttiness not to far removed from the pilot’s. Nick is asked to transfer title to a yacht won by one of the Darling boys in a poker game, only to discover on arriving at the dock the kid is being arrested for human trafficking because said yacht was full of illegal aliens.

Perhaps the best part of the show, however, is the ringtones that announce the family’s calls. Juliet Darling (Samaire Armstrong), the Paris Hilton-esque airhead that wants to pursue acting, rings in to the sound of Rich Girl by Hall and Oates. Brian Darling, the abusive minister who is having an affair, rings to a chorus of Hallelujahs!

My guess: The show is darker than a lot of your typical TV fare. It’s more dramedy than comedy, and more cynical. I hope it stays on because it has a lot of potential, but it may have trouble finding an audience. I think it would have been better as an HBO series.

Journeyman – Mondays, 10/9, NBC – Journeyman’s pilot was sort of hard to follow. The show jumped around without any explanation in (I assume) an effort to make the viewer as disoriented as the poor guy that suddenly starts jumping through time. It was a strange tactic given that TV viewers usually watch as a way of escaping feelings of confusion and overwhelming stress. Mrs. Quip couldn’t watch it. She started to, but the jerking around couldn’t hold her attention. Maybe the second episode will be better. They should hope so, or they’ll end up bleeding audience pretty quickly.

The premise should seem pretty familiar. It’s basically Quantum Leap, but without the annoying sidekick, the cheesy special effects, and the temporary displacement of whoever he jumps into. Like Sam Beckett, Kevin McKidd (who plays the title character) bounces back to the past to correct historical flaws that would have a negative impact on the Earth of today. Unlike Beckett, it’s not a one-time, one-place bounce. McKidd’s character jumps completely at random – sometimes from moving vehicles. He’s also discovered that his ex (for whom he still carries a torch) is a fellow time traveler, and not dead as he had believed.

My guess: This is a show that could have a good following if it doesn’t cause epileptic fits in the viewing audience. The bouncing through time makes for a tough program to watch for those of us with adult onset ADD.

The Big Bang Theory – Mondays, 8:30/7:30, CBS – The bog bore theory. Seriously, if everyone thought nerds were funny, they wouldn’t be nerds. The script is dry, the acting is poor. If you want to catch this one, you’d better do it quick. I suspect another comedy will be tucked in between How I Met Your Mother and Two and a Half Men before you’re done loosening the belt at Thanksgiving.

Back To You – Wednesdays, 8/7, Fox – Kelsey Grammar’s return to TV alongside Patricia Heaton from Everybody Loves Raymond proves two things. First, Patricia was definitely not the funny one on ELR. Second, Kelsey Grammar’s as a blowhard pompous jackass has gotten stale. He’s trying to be Frasier the anchorman. It’s really a bit tiring.

My guess: People liked Frasier, so maybe they’ll like this, but I don’t see.

Big Shots – Thursdays, 10/9, ABC – Christopher Titus is a great comedian. I’ve always liked his stand up and was a fan of his Fox show Titus. I think the string has ended, though. I’m not sure if it’s his fault or the rest of the cast, but I found this show to be just awful. Think of the rich kid you went to high school with. You know th guy. He was loved by everyone, and had everything he wanted, but always came across to you like a used car salesman. This is a show full of those guys. They’re CEOs of major companies now, and live a life of cocktails and women. It’s great for them, but watching it is painful.

My guess: I can’t imagine this show having any staying power. I’d put money on a November/December exit.

Moonlight – Fridays, 9/8, CBS – Beginning to build Occult Fridays as a staple of their lineup, CBS adds the Vampire Detective show Moonlight to the time slot following Ghost Whisperer. If the premises of Chuck and Reaper leave you shaking your head in disbelief, wait until you hear this one. The main difference is the former two are comedies, this one is a drama.

Mick St. John (sounds like a porn star name, huh?) is a private detective who also happens to be a vampire. His mission is to hunt down the bad guys, while keeping the vampire’s a secret. In the pilot, a young reporter – on that Mick saved from his crazy ex-wife she-vampire years ago – begins writing articles about the vampires feeding on girls in LA. It seems a wannabe vampire is killing co-eds and the real vampires are catching the heat. Only by solving the crime can Mick keep the public from looking for vampires.

My guess: I love vampire flicks. I’ve always been fascinated by the myth. I loved vampire movies (pretty much all of them). There have been very few vampire flicks I have missed. That said, even I can’t watch this. Look for the sun to come up on moonlight around the fourth week.

So that’s the run down. There are a few unaired shows that I have my eye on. Pushing Daises, for instance, has the potential to be good and I’m even looking forward to Cavemen with a morbid sense of curiosity. I’m still looking for that gem, though. I’m still hunting for the diamond in the current lineup. Dirty Sexy Money and Reaper have been the two I’ve liked the best, but there’s always time for a new series to catch my eye.

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O.J and Oh, Britney. The Week In Celebrity Shame

Sep 17 2007 Published by under Cable, Celebrities, Craziness, Crime, Miscellany, Music, Pop Culture, Pop Music, Programming, Rap/Hip-Hop Music, Self-Promotion, Sex, Society, Stuff That Sucks, Television

It’s been a bad week to be sick. With so much celebrity embarrassment on parade, not having the energy to trash them is really troubling.

Let’s set the wayback machine for the VMAs last week. This show had it all – award winners trashing the network that hosts the awards, has-been rockers duking it out over whored out former TV stars, single moms trying to whore themselves out (but nobody was buying), and militant rappers getting peeved that the awards weren’t rigged for them to win. Your entertainment dollar was simply not going to go farther than the 2007 VMAs

Britney was supposed to warm up the audience, but left everyone feeling cold. Blame it on the hair, the lip-synching, the magic act that wasn’t, the drinking, the allergic reaction to eye drops (what?), or any of another 100 oft-repeated excuses for the train wreck we witnessed, the sad reality is we want to see a nubile 20 year-old in skin tight leather dancing like a tramp or tongue kissing Madonna (actually, skip that last part). The fact is, Brit is now a single mom who, with every public appearance, reminds us of the line from Sweet Home Alabama.

Look at you! You have a baby! In a bar!

Here’s some advice Brit. Put on some clothes, write/sing a grown-up song, and stop trying to convince us that you’re the hot little vixen of Baby One More Time. That ship has sailed. You were used up by a douchebag, and the only guy that still wants you is this loser.

Next up… Kid Rock and Tommy Lee. Even with Britney and Kanye melting down at the VMAs, this is probably the most pathetic story of the night. These two guys get into a brawl over a woman who, by her own admission, paid off a poker debt with sex. Yup. That girl is a class act that is worth fighting for. Go get her, guys.

Speaking of Kanye, I don’t think I could sum this one up any better than Joel McHale (host of The Soup). After recapping Kanye’s choice words about his perceived snub at the hands of MTV, McHale said, “Geez. 50 Cent didn’t whine that much when he got shot.” True dat!

In our last glimpse backward at the VMAs, perhaps the one shining moment in the telecast came when Justin Timberlake (surrounded by the vapid cast of The Hills) excoriated MTV for filling its programming with non-stop reality TV and begged them to actually play music occasionally. It seems Timberlake may be one of the few people who owes his soul to MTV, and at the same time feels bad because he’s old enough to remember that MTV used to stand for Music Television.

Finally, back in the present, let’s dip into the overflowing cup of comedy gold that is O.J. Simpson. The same week that his book (If I Did It) comes out, and the world may read his claim that he’s not a criminal (at least not a murderous one), he gets arrested for storming into a sports memorabilia show with armed accomplices and trying to steal pieces of his life. It’s not clear whether he actually owns any of what he tried to steal. And it’s not clear if he was armed, but a tape of the incident clearly demonstrates his anger and rage as he barks out instructions that no one is to be allowed to leave.

Wow, O.J., armed robbery and taking hostages. That’s a hell of a good way to prove you’re not a killer. Maybe next time you could sacrifice a small puppy on national TV and tell people your killing is limited only to the animal kingdom. By the way, aren’t you supposed to be out there trying to catch the real killer?

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America’s Got Talent?

Aug 15 2007 Published by under Music, Programming, Television

Ok, I tried to watch America’s Got Talent last year and couldn’t get into it. It was like watching a really long, tedious version of The Gong Show. It was too painful to become invested in. When it came on again this year, I didn’t start watching until much later, and am glad I did. While the vast majority of the acts are pretty lame, there are actually two that are phenomenal.

I am not at all a fan of the American Idol genre of television programming, though I have commented fairly extensively on my addiction to CBS’ Rock Star series (Where is RockStar:Van Halen?).

When I first tuned into AGT, I had to revisit my opposition to singing competitions because of Cas Haley. This ia a guy who comes across on TV as a generally decent and normal guy. He also happens to be one hell of an entertainer. He would be my choice for the winner with no doubt were it not for the ventriloquist.

Normally, the ventriloquist bit wears thin pretty quick. It has been a long time since anyone with their hand up a puppet’s ass has made me laugh or even smile. The fact is, there are only so many bits you can do with a dummy – and before I saw Terry Fator, I thought they had all been done to death. This guy is phenomenal. He’s a singer, a ventriloquist, and most impressively an impressionist. Not only is he is one of the best vocalists on the show, he does all of his singing in other people’s voices. He has done Roy Orbison, Garth Brooks, Dean Martin, Nat King Cole (and Natalie Cole), Kermit the Frog, and Louis Armstrong.

If you haven’t watched the show, I don’t really blame you. It’s not an easy thing to get into. However, if you have some time to kill tonight, you ought to tune in just to see Cas and Terry perform one last time.

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