Archive for: January, 2008

Home Sweet Home

Jan 22 2008 Published by under Miscellany

Reading the news out of New Mexico lately leaves me with the distinct impression that people in the state are spending way too much time in strip clubs.

First, there was news out of the University of New Mexico (whose sole claim to NCAA fame was its 2004 National Skiing Championship) that studied the tipping habits of strip club patrons as they relate to menstruation of the strippers.

Now, the state is proposing a special tax on visitors to gentlemen’s clubs to fund the prosecution of sex crimes in the state.

I’d like to make two points on this. First, the New Mexico legislature is kind of like radiation. Limited exposure may have healthful effects, but they’re hard to document. On the other hand, prolonged exposure to the Roundhouse can definitely make you retarded. There was once a legislator who pushed a bill making it illegal to lick a horny toad while simultaneously voting against legislation that would allow rape victims to have the suspected rapist tested for AIDS. Her argument was the rapist was not actually a rapist until convicted – thus forcing a woman to wait months or years to find out if she was exposed.

Second, I find it odd that the tax is targeted at nudie bars – as if there is some correlation between sex crimes and erotic dancers or the people that frequent the clubs. You might just as well target condom sales for the tax. After all, we know people buying condoms are actually having sex. People visiting strip clubs likely aren’t, thus the need to live vicariously through another avenue. If you want to fund the prosecution of sex crimes, why not start with those engaged in sexual activity. It makes as much sense as an arbitrary tax on strip club patrons.

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Kung Fu Election

With a name like KungFuQuip.com on a blog covering politics, there was absolutely no way I could avoid commenting on Kung Fu Election. Choose your candidate and pit them against the other contenders in bloody death matches to determine the next leader of the free world. The intro song is really annoying and you should skip past it, but as it says, “China may have got our jobs, but we got their fighting skills.”

Now go out there and let John McCain, Mitt Romney, The Huckster, or Rudy serve up a hot plate of whoop ass on Obama, Richardson, Edwards or Clinton (technically Hill, but as you see in the screen grab below, just as in real life, she had to invoke the spirit of Bill to fight her battles for her).

Kung Fu Election at Atom Films

By the way, apparently they were going to include Fred Thompson, but they realized “Fred Thompson doesn’t decide who lives and who dies; he just makes it so.

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Thoughts on CES

Jan 11 2008 Published by under Business, Craziness, Gadgets, Porn, Technology

I just returned from my first trip to the Consumer Electronics show and thought I’d share some thoughts. This is an event that I’ve wanted to attend for years. My first trip was really sort of a shock, awe, and letdown campaign.

Shock - The sheer scope of this thing is incredible. You can’t escape it. Whether its the shuttle bus stops in front of every hotel, the presence of advertising absolutely everywhere, or the size and number of exhibit halls, it is a mammoth undertaking. I’ve been to two GOP conventions, the Iowa straw poll, two cable industry shows, and countless political conferences. Added together, I don’t think they equal the number of people in Vegas for CES. Someone told me (but I have not verified) that between 150,000 and 250,000 people descend on Vegas for the show. The GOP conventions were quoted as 15,000 delegates and 30,000 press for a total of 45,000. Cable’s big show draws around 15,000. They all seemed packed. This was insane.

Awe - The show has the latest and greatest gadgets. I’ve written about a bunch of them on CableTechTalk. You can read those posts here, here, here, here, here and here. My personal favorites had to be the MyVu personal video eyewear, the 3DV camera for gaming, the AnyPlay portable set-top box, DVD and DVR combo, and the Sonos home audio streaming system. If you’re a gadget freak, this is the show for you.

Letdown – The bad news about the show, and what nobody tells you, is how much garbage you have to sift through to get to the gems. For every one cool gadget, there are two places hawking batteries, three places pimping cases for every portable device and four places pushing iPod docks. If I never see another dog shaped, cat shaped, pig shaped, of giraffe shaped iPod dock again, it will be too soon.

The thing nobody tells you is how surreal the whole experience is. I’ve always known that the porn industry schedules its big show (The AVN Adult Entertainment Expo) at the same time. What they don’t tell you is that between porn stars, booth babes, and overweight geeky men, it’s very hard to tell who is there for what. It’s like a giant sea of guys who are absolutely geeked out – only you don’t know if they’re hot for the star of Debbie Does Everything or the latest duck shaped iPod dock.

The other thing to keep in mind is this is a trade show. Like any trade show, it wears thin after the first 36-48 hours – but it lasts four days. Even with four days, there is almost no way you can see everything on the show floor AND go to any of the panel discussions. I could have spent a lot more time doing either, but would have been completely unable to do both.

Would I do it all again if I had the chance? Probably. Would I try to blog it? If I was there for that reason, yes. But otherwise, absolutely not. Trying to squeeze in three to five posts a day on top of the panels and floor was a bit much. It can be done, but you need to get up early, stay up late, and do little else.

In all, it was a fun trip, but I wouldn’t want to do something like it more than once a year.

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More Rats Abandoning The Ship

Jan 10 2008 Published by under Congress, Craziness, Politics, Republicans

I was talking with a handful of Georgia state legislators at a Christmas party (Rs, not Ds – and they shall remain nameless) and one of them made a comment that I think sums up the mood of the GOP base these days. I didn’t write down the quote, so I have to paraphrase. He said something to the effect of ‘It’s really nice of these guys to create this giant fiscal mess for the last 8 years and then bail out rather than trying to stay and fix it.’

I don’t know about you, but watching the parade of GOPers in Congress announcing that the party’s over and they’re going home has made me feel exactly like the Georgians.

Well, today brings word of yet another Republican (John Doolittle of CA) walking out the door shouting, “Will the last guy to leave turn out the lights?” (That’s a Roll Call link, so you’ll need a subscription, but I’ll give you the skinny).

Speculation has been rampant that Doolittle would retire from his 4th district seat ever since his Virginia home was raided by the FBI last spring in connection with an investigation into his and his wife Julie’s ties to disgraced GOP lobbyist Jack Abramoff.

The Congressman has represented the suburbs and foothills just east of Sacramento for 18 years.

Granted, the guy could be indicted or plea out between now and the election and that makes it hard to focus on the campaign. Add to that the fact that his fundraising (the legal kind, at least) is in the tank as are his poll numbers. It’s not a pretty position to be sitting in.

That said, it seems Republicans are announcing they’re retirement about one-a-day.

In the meantime, the one guy we can’t get rid of (until the end of his term) is the one guy we most want to leave (immediately). And speaking of Mr. Widestance, he’s appealing the judge’s refusal to grant a do-over on his guilty plea.

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Calculation

Jan 10 2008 Published by under Candidates, Democrats, Elections, Hillary Clinton, Pandering, Politics

Some friends an I were discussing the Clinton’s and the subject of the infamous video at Ron Brown’s funeral came up. You remember the one, right? Bill Clinton is walking along yucking it up with friends – grinning and laughing right up until the moment he sees the camera. Instantly his whole face changes to a somber expression and he begins wiping his eyes as if he’s been crying.

Now, normally I’m not one to question the sincerity of someone else. I’ve been accused of being cold and calculating. For the record, I’m not. Instead, I freely admit most of what I have accomplished in life was completely by accident. I’ve stumbled into almost everything.

The Clinton’s, however, are a whole different breed. I don’t think either of them has done anything in life that wasn’t planned. That’s why I have serious doubts about another, more recent Clinton moment.

You’re looking at declining poll numbers, and people are writing columns asking if you can be dull and studious and still appeal when your opponent is dynamic and inspiring.

Clinton talked about issue after issue in almost mind-numbing detail and answered question after question in an event that lasted more than an hour and a half.

Both drew large crowds. But Clinton’s crowd was much smaller at the end of her speech than at the beginning.

Hundreds of people trickled and then streamed out while Clinton was still talking. But she went on and on as if she did not mind. And maybe she didn’t.

“You campaign in poetry, but you govern in prose,” Clinton said, quoting Mario Cuomo.

In other words: Dull is good. Dull is a sign of competence.

You’re known for being guarded and shrewd, and “nothing but business” and suddenly you break down in front of a camera at a time when people are telling you to be more human.

That the question was a softball at a roundtable focused on issues really makes me wonder if the question wasn’t planted. Watch the MSNBC video linked above and even the reporter comments on the fact that the question was out of left field and people in the audience rolled their eyes.

So my question is, was this a genuine moment, or another calculated political move by one of the two most calculating people in the business? The timing, to me at least, seems a little odd.

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